Cutting fingernails is a simple yet complex task for our children with autism. In addition to cutting their nails, our children struggle with cutting their hair, wearing clothes with tags or uncomfortable fabrics, and touching objects with odd textures.
Tactile texture sensitivity or tactile defensiveness is an overreaction to tactile stimuli. It is a form of hypersensitivity to touch. I will focus on the tactile sensitivities mentioned above, but I am aware that the list can be extensive for our children who have autism.
Table of Contents
- Cutting Fingernails of Children with Autism
- Cutting the Hair of Children with Autism
- Wearing Clothes with Tags or Uncomfortable Fabrics
- Touching Objects with Odd Textures
Cutting Fingernails of Children with Autism
We struggled with this one as my daughter was growing up. It was an impossible task to cut her nails. She would scream and cry hysterically. It was painful to see her in such agony. I would cry along with her.
Nothing worked!
After multiple failed attempts, we discarded different nail trimmers and filers. We were desperate to find a solution. Like most of you, we had been on a path of endless therapies based on our daughter’s autism evaluations. If you would like to learn more about the evaluations we went through, CLICK HERE. By the grace of God, we were blessed with many excellent therapists passionate about helping the children they served.
On the first day of meeting my three-year-old daughter, an occupational therapist noticed her nails were a bit long. She came out from the therapy room and asked me if my daughter struggled with getting her nails cut.
I told her the whole story of how upset my daughter would get and what a struggle it was for us to cut her nails. She nodded and asked me if she could cut her nails. I chuckled a bit, thinking how naïve she was to believe she could cut my daughter’s nails. After all, our battle was real, and we felt we had tried everything!
Surprisingly, the therapist walked out with my daughter one hour later, smiling. The therapist held my daughter’s hands to show me that she had been able to cut her nails except for two because she wanted to show me how to do it. What?!!!
So here it is. This cutting nails strategy was life-changing for us, and I pray it helps you as much as it has helped us. Again, remember, every child is different, and you, as the parent, will have to decide if this would be helpful for your child.
Depending on your child, you may need to take each step slowly. The secret is not moving on to the next step until the child seems comfortable with the current step, but in my daughter’s case, this was achieved within an hour. As I write this, I do not believe it because it used to be such a horrible experience, but it worked, and cutting her nails was no longer an issue for us.
Steps to Cutting Nails of a Child Who Has Autism
- Adults must supervise each step below.
- Buy a nail clipper with grips on the end. This will help prevent your fingers from slipping when quickly cutting the nails.
- Let the child hold the closed nail trimmer in their hand to get used to its feel. Once the child is comfortable with this step, move on to the next step.
- The adult now takes the nail trimmer from the child and prepares it for cutting the nails. Instead of cutting the nails, the adult holds each hand like they are going to cut the fingernails, but instead touches each nail with the nail trimmer, but there is no cutting. Praise the child through it. Do this to both hands. Do it three times. This will allow the child to become comfortable with just the touch of the nail trimmer on the nails.
- Repeat step 4 above, but now quickly cut every two nails. For example, touch the thumbnail with the nail trimmer, then touch the index fingernail, cut the middle fingernail, touch the ring fingernail, and touch the pinkie nail. Repeat the same process, on the other hand. Then repeat on the original first hand, but this time cut every other nail. Repeat the process until you have cut all of the nails. Ensure the child feels comfortable at every step; if the child does not feel comfortable, return to the previous step and try again.
- The objective is to desensitize very slowly. Do not rush it. Your child must feel comfortable in each step; otherwise, they will continue to fear cutting their nails.
- Ultimately, ensure you praise them and reward them with a preferred activity or a new, inexpensive toy so that the child associates nail-cutting with a pleasant experience.
Cutting the Hair of Children with Autism
Similar to cutting nails, desensitizing the child to getting a haircut is crucial for success.
Depending on your child, you may need to take each step slowly. The secret is to move on to the next step only once the child seems comfortable with the current step.
Steps to Cutting the Hair of a Child Who Has Autism
- Some children are not scared of the haircut but are terrified of the cape used, especially the capes with the Velcro around the neck area. If this is the case with your child, one option is to have your child wear an old t-shirt that can be changed after the haircut instead of wearing a cape. Another option is to practice having your child wear a cape at home, under parent supervision, pretending they are superheroes. Make it a game to make your child feel safe while wearing it. These capes are available at most drugstores or beauty supply stores. Once the child feels comfortable wearing it, you can ask the hairdresser to use it when cutting your child’s hair. Another option is to take a raincoat cape and cut the head portion off so there is no tightness or velcro around the neck. Battle won!
- The second concern for some children is washing their hair or using spray bottles to wet it. This is a simple fix: Wash or wet hair at home before going to the hairdresser. If this is a concern, you may prefer a silicone adjustable visor hat, sold on Amazon, that prevents water from touching the child’s face when wetting/washing hair.
- Find a hairstylist who is patient and kind.
- Make an appointment at a slow time so the hairdresser does not feel rushed and can dedicate the time needed to make your child feel comfortable. Explain the situation to the hairdresser before your arrival so they know the challenge.
- Let the child sit in the chair and have the hairdresser put on the cape that your child feels comfortable in, brought from home, or your child should already be wearing an old t-shirt that will be removed at the end of the haircut and replaced with a clean/dry t-shirt.
- Give your child something fun to hold in their hands, something new that they have not seen before, so that they can be extremely curious and excited about it. Some places offer cute little cars to sit in and even play videos on a screen to entertain your child. You can also bring your laptop to play a favorite video for them. Whatever makes your child feel comfortable.
- Now, have the hairdresser brush/comb their hair.
- If the child is still comfortable, proceed to the next step. If not, stop there and do not proceed. Let the child sit in the chair for a bit longer and end the appointment when the child has calmed down. Praise your child for being able to sit in the chair. Return on another day and see if you can go further. Every child is different, and you must desensitize slowly.
- Now, have the hairdresser touch the hair with closed scissors, pretending to be cutting but with the scissors closed and just touching and lifting the hair. If the child feels comfortable, move on to the next step; otherwise, end the appointment when the child has calmed down. Praise your child for the effort shown.
- Proceed to having hairdresser cut hair, if your child has felt comfortable during the above steps.
- Stay calm if the above does not work. Please note that this was all very difficult for my daughter to do. I ended up doing these steps at home, where she felt a lot more comfortable, and I would cut her hair. Eventually, by the time she was three years old, she loved to get her haircut, and this stopped being an issue. I understand that boys’ haircuts are more difficult, and that is why I outlined the steps above. There will come a time when this issue will disappear for most of our children, so do not worry. It is only hair; you have more important issues to deal with.
Wearing Clothes with Tags or Uncomfortable Fabrics
This was the easiest of all the tactile sensitivities to deal with: clothes with uncomfortable tags. I simply cut off the tags from any clothes that bothered my daughter.
In addition, many garment producers currently print tags onto their clothing, bypassing tags altogether. I simply bought clothes that had printed tags or clothes that I could simply cut off tags.
Unfortunately, some garment producers sew them onto garments, and some are impossible to cut off without ruining the garment. I simply do not buy those.
Nevertheless, the steps below are for parents with unique situations where their child must wear clothing with tags or uncomfortable fabrics, like scratchy sweaters.
Steps to Wearing Clothes with Tags or Uncomfortable Fabrics
- Let the child feel the garment.
- Have the child turn the garment inside out and hold it in their hands.
- Then, have them hug the garment with the tag side or uncomfortable fabric facing their body.
- If the child has felt comfortable with the above steps, proceed to the next step; if not, stop here and praise your child for their efforts. Continue with the following steps on a different day. Remember, desensitization is a slow process, only proceeding when the current step has been accomplished comfortably.
- Tell your child that they will wear the garment for only 1 minute. Please have your child put on the garment themselves while you praise them for their effort. Have your child set a 1-minute timer (let your child do this so they can see that they are in control of the situation), and when the timer goes off, ask your child to remove the garment. Make it like a fun game that you are playing with them. Tell them you will practice again in an hour and remember to praise them for their effort.
- After an hour, repeat the same process. If the child feels comfortable with the 1 minute, try challenging your child to raise the timer to 2 minutes. Praise the child for challenging themselves. If the child does not feel comfortable or does not want to challenge themselves, do it again for 1 minute and only proceed through the following steps when your child feels comfortable.
- Keep increasing the challenge, but I recommend practicing at most three times in one day. You do not want to overwhelm your child.
- God willing, your child will eventually adapt to the texture of the tag or uncomfortable fabric and will feel comfortable. Again, there are many options for clothing, so please do not put your child through an unnecessary adaptation process when it is as simple as cutting off a tag or choosing a comfortable fabric. I am an adult, and tags and itchy fabrics bother me. I cut off tags, purchase garments without them, and only buy comfortable fabric clothing. Please keep that in mind. You will need to address other essential issues, but this one is not it unless you have unique circumstances. There are many other concerns; CLICK HERE if you would like to read about other signs of autism.
Touching Objects with Odd Textures
Some children on the Autism Spectrum are sensitive to touching odd textures, such as slimy, mushy, wet, sticky, etc., objects or surfaces. To help my daughter with this sensitivity, I gathered a collection of objects that triggered her tactile defensiveness and placed them all in a tote bag.
Then, I would sit across from my daughter equipped with my tote bag containing the collections of objects, another tote bag with fun gadgets and activities that my daughter would enjoy, to be used as rewards, and a clear bin or basket. My son, who would watch my interaction with my daughter, eventually found it so much fun that he wanted to help her with the hope of touching the fun objects and rewards in the tote bags. So funny! He became her teacher, and she enjoyed interacting with her brother more than with me. What a win!
Steps to Touching Objects with Odd Textures
- Set up the two tote bags and a clear bin or basket. One tote bag will be filled with objects with odd textures your child struggles with touching, and the other will be filled with fun gadgets and activities that will be used as rewards. Your child will use the bin or basket to drop the object with the odd texture into it.
- Place the first odd-textured object on the table in front of your child.
- Tell your child you have something special in the reward tote bag. If they want to see it, they will need to pick up the object in front of them and drop it in the empty bin or basket. Make a big deal out of it to persuade your child to pick up the object.
- Hopefully, your child will pick up the object and drop it into the empty basket. You immediately reward them with a fun gadget or engaging activity from the reward tote bag. If your child refuses to pick up the object, ask if they can touch it for 3 seconds and build on that experience and time.
- Move on to the next object. After a few days of picking up the textured objects and being rewarded, you will see that they begin to lose their tactical defensiveness against them.
Tactile texture sensitivity or tactile defensiveness is challenging for our children on the Autism Spectrum, but we can slowly help them conquer these sensitivities with patience, love, and understanding. Everything is possible with God by our side.
If you would like to learn more about sensory integration in Autism Spectrum Disorders, from the ARI Autism Research Institute, please CLICK HERE.
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